Introduction

For as long as there have been golfers, there have been jokes about golfers. Just ask anyone who's involved with the sport, and they will gladly tell you their favorite anecdote. Some of which we've all heard.

Well, thanks to the kind people at Red-Letter Press, Inc., the publisher of "The Bathroom Golf Book" by Harry Patterson, we've able to include, for your enjoyment, some of the more popular quips about golf.

So sit back, relax and enjoy a good laugh from the likes of Henry Beard, Sam Snead, Gary Cheevers, Jackie Burke, and many more, as they regale you with their tales of golf.

Test Your Knowledge

Each month Lost Creek will give you the opportunity to test your golf knowledge with a new trivia quiz. See if you can answer the questions without cheating. Good luck and have fun!

Tickles At The Turn

Enjoy a few one-liners from the late great Bob Hope about his favorite sport. Reprinted with the permission of Red-Letter Press, Inc. from the book "The Bathroom Golf Book" by Harry Patterson.

•     "I was Spiro Agnew's partner one day at Palm Springs, although I didn't realize it until my caddie handed me a blindfold and a cigarette."

•     "Whenever I play with Jerry Ford, I usually try to make it a foursome -- the President, myself, a paramedic and a faith healer."

•     "Gerald Ford -- the man who made golf a contact sport."

•     "Jimmy Stewart could have been a good golfer, but he speaks so slowly that by the time he yells "Fore!" the guy he's hit is already in an ambulance on the way to the hospital."

•     "I set out to play golf with the intention of shooting my age, but I shot my weight instead."

•     "Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees."

•     "Incidentally, the toughest part of the course for me nowadays are the sand traps. It's not hard to get the ball out...the problem, at my age, is to get me out."

•     "I asked my good friend, Arnold Palmer how I could improve my game. He advised me to cheat."

•     "The Scottish caddies are great. One old fellow at St. Andrews told me, 'I had a golfer who was so lousy he threw his clubs into the water. Then he dove in himself. I thought he was going to drown, but I remembered he couldn't keep his head down long enough.'"

•     "I've played some strange rounds of golf in my travels. One course in Alaska was hacked out of the wilderness. My caddy was a mouse. Every time I reached for a club he thought I was trying to steal his antlers."